I forgot the quiet of staying up late
that makes you feel like you don’t have to wait–
you could go and keep going as long as you dare
and never look back, and never even care.
I forgot how it feels to have friends you can call
without having to feel what you can’t say at all,
without having to say “I wish you were here,”
with whom you could be crazy, and live without fear.
I forgot all the green and the sky full of gray,
or maybe I just wished all those memories away,
because when I look back, and I don’t look back often,
my calloused, dried heart slowly begins to soften
And hearken back to days long since passed,
when life was a game to be played strong and fast,
and no thought of tomorrow was ever long given,
and I never said no when an opportunity had risen.
I chide myself now, for I long for those days,
and I long for the nights that passed, cold and gray,
in the arms of the one that I loved and loved me
who I left for a future I couldn’t even see.
-Kaitlyn Medina [4/8/09]